Calm My Mind - By Melanie Rogers

Calm My Mind - Words from a student midwife.

I sit down, chairs lined up beside me, another assessment, if I pass this I am one more step closer to qualifying as a midwife.

Deep Breath.

It’s my sign off placement interview, I must show what I have learnt, how I have grown and what I now know.

Deep Breath.

I pull on my uniform, ensure my fob watch is in the correct place, pens and notebook in pocket, hair tied up,

Deep Breath.

My first shift on this placement.  Do I remember enough?  What will I be faced with?  Will my mentor be happy to have me and answer my questions?  Each step taking me closer to the doors.

Deep Breath.

Once I open those doors I am a student midwife, the expectation from myself and others weighing on my shoulders,

Deep Breath. 

The knot in my stomach starts creeping, tighter, trying to take hold, self-doubt begins to enter my mind, nausea, heart beating faster, remember to breathe…

Deep Breath.

I need to calm, focus and remember that I can do this.

Amongst my pocket full of pens, I remember Calm My Mind is waiting for me. 

Deep Breath. 

I take it out, roll it onto my wrists,

Deep Breath. 

Rolling Calm My Mind onto the base of my neck, at both pulse points behind my ears and a little onto my chest. 

Deep Breath. 

Bergamot, Geranium, Frankincense, Orange and Patchouli.

Deep Breath.

The essential oils hit my nose, and I remember to focus.

Deep Breath.

I slow my breathing down, letting the oils enter my brain and blood stream.  Remembering how far I have come to be at this point, the hard work, the joy, tears and celebration.  I am here, I am present. 

Deep Breath.

I tell myself, ‘You have come so far, this is not an accident, you absolutely can do this’.  All the knowledge, skill and determination.  Every time I inhale Calm My Mind, I am able to focus on this.  Each inhalation reminds me, I begin to feel my heart rate slow down.

Deep Breath.

My shoulders start to retreat to their usual alignment, I feel the tension leave my body.  The tightness in my stomach starts to retreat.  Today the anxiety will not take hold.

Deep Breath.

Focus on what you have achieved so far, I tell myself.  Think about the Thank You cards, the exams passed, the assignments completed, the people that you have supported so far, the smiles and kind words from others.  Visualise them, remember those feelings, not the fear that has been trying to take over, and let the calm begin to wash over you.

Deep Breath.

You can do this.

Deep Breath.

My mind begins to calm, I can focus, be fully present, in this moment.

Deep Breath.

My hand reaches out towards the door, I push it open.

Deep Breath.

My mind is calm, I can do this.