A Different Way to Think About Valentine’s Day

I’ve never really bought into the commercial side of Valentine’s Day.

In fact, I often find it quite hard to push products around it, because it’s never felt fully aligned for me. Love isn’t something that fits neatly into one day, one card, one gesture or one expectation.

But what I do take from Valentine’s Day is the opportunity to pause.

Not to perform love, but to reflect on it.
Especially the relationship I have with myself.

For me, that might look like setting some time aside for a bath, doing something nourishing, or treating myself in a small, thoughtful way. Other times, it’s about spending time with my family and making it a day that isn’t centred around couples at all.

Last year, we did a little Valentine’s meal at home and wrote cards to each other as a family. Nothing fancy. Just honest words and a bit of fun. The kids absolutely loved it, and it felt genuinely meaningful. It was a reminder that love doesn’t have to look one specific way to be real.

I’ve spent many years not loving who I was.

Years of pushing myself, doubting myself, and being far harder on myself than I ever deserved. Loving myself didn’t come naturally, and for a long time, it felt out of reach.

But after stepping into perimenopause and doing a lot of inner work, something has shifted.

I can finally say this, and actually mean it:

I love Sal.
I love who she is.
I love what she’s created.

That feels huge for me.

So today, Valentine’s Day feels less about romance and more about appreciation. About taking a moment to acknowledge where I’m at in my life. Not where I thought I’d be. Not where I’m heading next. Just right here.

If Valentine’s Day feels complicated for you, or heavy, or a bit much, you’re not alone.

Maybe today doesn’t need to be about grand gestures or expectations. Maybe it can just be about choosing one small way to show yourself kindness. Or spending time with the people you love. Or simply giving yourself permission to slow down.

However you choose to spend today, I hope it feels gentle.